OPERA RANT
I don't want to hear about Opera anymore
It's a boring invention, watched by boring bores
It's costing bleeding millions of Arts Council loot
Which could be better spent on literary awards
Or paintings of newts
Or plays about kitchen sinks
Or jazz compositions
Or sponsored tiddlywinks.

I don't want to hear great fat whales screaming whilst they yawn
I'd rather have my singing straight and unadorned
I don't want to hear operas wailed by bad actors in German, 
	Danish or French
I'd rather stand upside down in a bloody sewage trench.
I don't mind if rich slobs want to have closet opera shops
But don't ask me to pay for it, 'cos I'd rather bop to the rock!

© Jeremy McNeill, 1985